So after countless cups of coffee, hours of sorting through hard drives and amounts of self-loathing and insecurity that are impossible to quantify, I’m finally (I think) in the home stretch of getting through the grand portfolio update. I think anyone in a creative field goes through this, however I’m convinced that I am the one who is the worst at it. I feel like I am pretty organized in my archives, however it still seems that it’s impossible to find those few golden shots that I know exist…or perhaps over time they’ve lost their luster to me. Yet, I press on and scrutinize the shots that I have, comparing them to and thus feeling vastly inferior to the famous photographers out there making (presumably) millions. It’s a thankless job that I wish I could outsource to someone (anyone!!) and just get it over with.
However, it seems like the forced psychological turmoil is starting to pay off and very soon I will feel reinvigorated and ready to hit the bricks, knock on doors and take my business to the next level. It’s easy to overlook the fact that over the last 3 years my work has actually gotten closer to where I would like it to be. My biggest fear in this business is to stagnate and not push my creativity and technical abilities to the next level. Looking back I see that I have accomplished this, perhaps not at the rate that I would like to, but progress is still progress and I’ll take what I can get.
The process of updating the portfolio is also motivational, if not in a strange way. I’ve looked back at my work thinking I had some real gems in there, and while I did discover some great pieces I had forgotten about, I feel like some pieces are missing. The desire to go out and create those missing links is growing and I’m getting inspired and very, very motivated. With the weather about to get nicer (or maybe I’m just getting militant about destroying my cabin fever) and with all the opportunities opening up this year, I can’t wait to get started!
It shouldn’t be long now and I’ll have some new galleries up for everyone to see. If you like what you see in these “new” galleries, I think in a few months, the new work I start posting will be really something to be see. OR, I could get complacent about posts like I’ve done in the past and you’ll see a post like this one in another 3 years. Let’s hope that isn’t the case.